Who's afraid of the big, bad h4xX0r??

And now for something completely different...IT Monkey Tracts!

From Caterpillar to Big Fat Gay Butterfly!

Reginald Broflofski just couldn't get over the loss of Noodle Poodle, his one and only love

Why it seemed like just yesterday that they had whispered sweet nothings over breakfast on the veranda.

But then, with one lap of its salsa breath tongue, Horror Grill rent them forever assunder.

And now all that remained of Noodle Poodle was a cold plastic urn beside the bed they once shared. And also a shelf. Noodle Poodle had loved that shelf and he would have wanted it this way.


Oi, the loss. Reginald could sing showtunes about it if he weren't weeping so damned much.

He coped by harrassing the college students who'd sold him Horror Grill.

And painting dubious portraits of his tenant/neighbor Heterosexual Baseball Cap Joe.

The hours passed by like kidney stones, but still he couldn't bring himself to make espresso, work at his chic boutique in the barrio, or make sock puppets. He couldn't do anything but think about poor Noodle Poodle.

But then it was like five o'clock, and his horoscope said it was time to move on.

Move on to Club Queer to be specific.

Yes, cutting a rug on that sparkly gay linoleum.

Was surely the best therapy a boy could get.

Reginald was in the back room catching up on a little Rachel Rae...

When he was approached by a tall stranger in dark, mysterious socks.

Before Reginald knew what he was doing, he had invited him back to his duplex.

tr> Mysterious Socks was highly impressed with the studio Reginald had built in Noodle Poodle's memory.

In fact, the argyle-clad gentleman had such a profound understanding of Noodle Poodle's art, and their conversation got SO deep...

That Reginald lost track of time.

All he could remember were strange dreams frought with Freudian imagery...

And waking up completely refreshed.

TO BE CONTINUED!!!

Noodle Poodle's Last Doodle

You remember Limpy McRuggles.

There was still a lot of talk of his conflagration at Marais State University. Some even said his spirit still roamed the halls of Cap'n Bartleby's Greek House, where he met his tragic end at the hands of Horror Grill.

Yes, you could say nerves were still raw when Reginald Broflofski saw Limpy's classmates taking Limpy and his murderer to the curb.

Reginald, you see, lived with his boyfriend Noodle Poodle, an artiste of some renown

And their tenant, Heterosexual Baseball Cap Joe,


In a swanky duplex off Kosher and Marmalade.


Yep. Noodle Poodle was the first thing Reginald thought of when he saw that cute little grill. Well, actually Taylor Hanson was the first thing he thought of. But it was pretty much the same thing.

Yes, he could just imagine the look on Noodle Poodle's face. Noodle just LOVED whimsical gifts that had been implicated in death and adultery.

Why, he had that crossdressing satanist's cereal bowl, and the collagen-injected lips of that giant cannibal super model that escaped from the zoo.

That cute little propane grill would just go perfectly. He had to have it at any price.


Fortunately, Beauregard, the head of the Greek House, was politely obliging.


Noodle Poodle was as happy as a fat lady with a Hershey's IV drip when he heard about his gift.


'Oh honey,' said Noodle Poodle, 'you always do the nicest things for me! It's time I did something nice for you!'

Yes, he'd have an ArtaGrillAthon.

He'd barricade himself in his chic Uptown studio

And focus on nothing but making paintings for the elderly and grilling for his sugar bear.

Yes, spend a whole day just painting...

And grilling away...

For the man he loved.

Unfortunately, by the time anyone learned of this little surprise...


It was already too late.